The Double Edged Sword
So, as many know, almost eveywhere you go there is a double edged sword. You know the things where something is bad and then something good happens, but it can still cause something bad! Yea, you know what I am talking about. The fun things! HEHE! NOT!
Well, like many have read in my most recent posts that there has been a fire near us. Well, we had wanted rain, but when you get thunderstorms, you not only get rain and thunder, you get the dreaded lightening. Yes, lightening in this situation is the double edged sword! So the lightening can in turn hit and start a fire, the VERY thing we are fighting! Interesting huh? Yea, I do not like lightening as it is, due to a BAD experience when I was in middle school! It had touched down VERY near our house once while I was looking out the window! SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!
As I said, I have many in my life, which is not a good thing. How about bi-polar/insomnia/depression. Yes, that could be a deadly combination if I let it! I do owe a lot to my mom, siblings, grandma, my bf, other family members, friends, and of course my AWESOME guinea pigs! Who have saved me a time or two! Like after my surgery! I couldn’t hold them, due to the incisions, and hadn’t held them in over a week! I was depressed, as they are my therapy animals. I was adament that I did not want my bf washing my incisions with saline solution. I cried and pretty much threw a tantrum. For a few reasons, one being my depression was kicking in and I was scared beyond belief because I could have died due to a burst gall bladder, but thanks to my bf making me go in, we got it in time. Well, anywho, during this depression fit, he brought out Kitten. One of our adorable little girls! She is awesome!
Now, he only brought out one because a) she was the easiest to catch at the time, b) he didn’t want to bring both out in fear that it may depress me more! Well, he set her next to my head as he cleaned my incisions, and voila, depression gone! These girls are awesome! they have helped me through a LOT!!!
Well, you may be wondering, that now I am just ranting and gone off subject. Not really, I just wanted to tell you a little bit why certain people and animals are important to me and to also explain my depression. Well, I get insomnia so bad that I may not sleep for a few days at a time. A small cat nap where I am not really sleeping maybe, but that is it. So, usually the biggest reason why I get insomnia is because of my biggest problem. Bi-Polar!!! Darn thing won’t leave me be. Some doctors say I have it, others say I don’t! I believe I do, because of the mania episodes I go through. I will go into that further some other time. Well, the mania episodes cause me to think so many thoughts and so fast that I can’t sit still. I am hyper as one might say, but sometimes it is a hyper that is just so annoying and I want to shoot myself in the head. Other times, it is quite productive, but on those productive nights, here it is, the double edged sword, I procrastinate!!! Yea, I know! See as of now, I have written two posts, played a few games on Facebook, talked to a few new friends, took a shower, and listened to music and watched a few shows. Productive? Nope, because I could have been working on my tribute slideshow for the fire victims, did my homework, but nope, I procrastinated!
Double edged swords are a funny thing! I am telling you, they always make me wonder. Heck, during this time I could have even put more recipes up, or even did research for my anti-bullying “class” that I want to get into the schools! Maybe, it is because my brain is exhausted and can’t think on more than a certain thing at a time. I do not know. Oh well.
Life has a funny way of dealing things to people!
Well, I better get off here and try to get some work done. The piggies say Hi!
Blessed be and I hope everyone has a wonderful night and is able to get some sleep!