Bad News, But is it the answer to all the problems?
Yesterday I got some bad news. So a few weeks ago my doctor told me he thought my thyroid was enlarged. The first time a doctor actually paid attention. I gave up bringing up that my neck didn’t feel right about 2 or three years ago after multiple doctors told me that I was being paranoid. So, within five minutes of meeting me he found it out right away. He sent me to get an ultrasound done and i finished that last week and had to wait a week for the results to be given to me at my appointment yesterday (8/23/12).
Come to find out, it is SEVERELY enlarged on the right side and my left side has cysts. He isn’t too worried about the cysts, but is worried about the enlargement as it is partially cutting off my windpipe. Which is explanation one for one of my problems, frequent sore throats and issues with breathing when I lay a certain way or if it is pressed against. Explanation 2: Could be pushing my esophagus. Which could be one reason why I have been having horrendous stomach issues. (i.e. Acid Reflux/heart burn). Explanation 3: One reason why I keep getting an “earache” without having an ear infection. Explanation 4: My neck issues. I have issues with pain and spasms im my neck. Explanation 5: Coughing without actually being sick and having a hard time sleeping due to breathing and constant coughing.
I could go on with everything this could have caused, but I really don’t want to because the list will be five miles long!
So what is the whole horrible news about this? Yes, I haven’t gotten to the worst part of everything. They may have to do surgery to remove my whole thyroid. Not fun. First things first, I can’t really take time off from any of my jobs. I not only need the money, but my nanny job is kind of hard to take time off from. It is not like their mom can just take vacation time (they already had a vacation) in order to cover when I will not be able to work. My second job I am not to worried about. I am also worried about school. I start going to class next week for biology and cannot take that online. So what am I to do there? talk to my teacher in hopes that they will cooperate with me? I have no idea, let alone my two online classes that I will have! Our other worry is that it will cause issues with my voice box among other things.
My biggest fear is the surgery itself! The last time I had to have a surgery, to remove my gallbladder, it didn’t necessarily go as planned. They had extreme complications. Let alone there could be other things that happen.
My doctor told me he wanted to talk to the endocrinologist before he told me the game plan, but the endocrinologist told him that he was not even gonna take the case after looking at my ultrasound and the letter from the doctor who look at my ultrasound. He told my doctor to send me straight to a general surgeon. (I don’t know the exact specs, but will tell you the size when I get them again. All I remember is the length of the right thyroid is 7.1 cm.) So now this is where I have to wait some more, something I am not good at. I want this done and over with and behind me. Not an easy feat, but it has to be done.
There wasn’t very much good news other than the fact that my blood pressure was just under normal. YAY! Unfortunately, because I can’t drink milk, my Vitamin D level was atrocious! So I have to start taking that now too.
Life is not easy for me right now. In fact I am quite nervous and not sure of where to go from here. What do I ask? Where do I look at research? Who do I ask these questions? How am I going to afford this because I don’t have insurance? I have many questions roving in my brain, and no way to actually answer them.
I may seem dramatic about this stuff, but my life is gonna change, possibly for the better, but there will be bad included too. I do not know what to do. I also have the potential of being on medication for the rest of my life! How am I gonna handle that? I hate taking medication (I know how ironic that I am going to school to become a pharmacist).
Life can only tell what will truly happen. Still pondering those questions and trying to figure it all out.
Until next time! Blessed Be!