Coping, Encouragement, Faith, Hope
This is a hard post to write, but I have to. I know I do, and I believe now is as good a time as any. As the night meets the day, as the night ends and I am still sleepless.
Moving on. Some tough words, but they have to be said at some point. Things come and go, friendships are there, but then they disappear, but the love will always be there. More than you will ever know.
Coping. Yea, no one knows the right answer to this. What is coping? It depends on the person. Coping, is it standing in the scalding hot shower crying your eyes out, until there are no more tears, but yet, it seems the tears keep flowing? Is it sitting in bed and crying into your pillow? How do you cope? Do you hold in all feelings, all emotions until the very last drop? Or, do you place it in this very nice neat little box and put it aside for later examination? No matter the way, coping is however you need to do it, unless it is harming yourself, that is NOT the way to cope. So please take my words of encouragement, cope anyway you need to, except by hurting yourself. If you are comfortable, write a journal. It will help you keep track of the way you feel each and every day. It will help you sort through your thoughts and feelings. Don’t be afraid of them.
Encouragement. Only surround yourself with people who care about you. The ones who encourage you. The ones who stick by your side. When things get tough, they don’t walk away, they stick with you no matter what. Encouragement is a KEY part of coping and healing. It is the crucial step in moving on, moving forward. Don’t let others hinder your healing.
Faith. Many books say that faith and hope are KEY components to healing. It is not for everyone. Some it is their faith that moves them forward, others it is just the sheer thought of moving forward step by step, hoping, praying, that things will someday get better, that things will get easier.
Hope. I know this is key, but it doesn’t seem to be a key for me. I focus on me and keeping busy. I can’t focus on things such as faith and hope. I am barely focusing on coping and moving on.
If reading the books helps you to move forward, then use them, read them. If they are only making things worse, ignore them. Deal with things the best you know how. Get the help you need, the help you deserve. Do not deny yourself that. Let your heart guide you, let your friends and family help.
If your not careful, life will pass you by. Am I saying that life will be easy, and bearable? FAR FROM IT. It is going to be hard, and tough to follow. It is going to cause heartache and pain, but there will be good times along with the bad. The good memories will soon replace the bad. Things will even out. Things will feel different, the heartache will dull, to something more bearable, even though it is still there. There is NOTHING you can do to fully eradicate the pain from your life. There is NOTHING you can do to make this pain completely disappear. It is there, you learn to cope with it, to form it into something good, into something better, more constructive. Into something that will help you live day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year. Things will change, you will see. Soon you will barely notice that hole you used to have in your heart.
Now am I at any of these places yet? No, far from it, am I going to follow this? I am gonna try. Saying is a lot easier than doing. Saying is a lot easier than following through on this, but if you are grieving, it doesn’t matter how you lost the loved one, if you are grieving, let’s do this together. Let’s make this easier on ourselves. Let’s make this life something that it wasn’t intended to be because we want it to be something bigger, bolder, BETTER. Let’s make this change together, for the better.