Is This Real Life
You all probably have seen the youtube of the boy who just came from the dentist. If not you are now probably googling it righg now. Yes, I know what you are doing. In the video the boy is affected by the laughing gas. You know, the good stuff. The stuff that feels funny, but you are too drugged to care. Yea, you know what I’m talking about. Grieving for me ;ately has been a lot of that. A lot of moments where I am asking myself if this is real life?? I had a few dreams today, finally not a nightmare, that sure felt real. So, I keep asking myself if I am dreaming or if it truly is real life. Things are strange. Flashbacks are still intense. They catch me at precisely the wrong moment. I just wonder when things start getting easier and less difficult to handle.
On Easter I had to work. I was okay with that. Then on my way home my transmission went out. I was already having a hard day and I just finally broke down crying. I couldn’t take it anymore. Its as if I take 1 step forward and 30 steps back.
When does life get more simple??? When does life handing me lemons??? I’m getting tired of drinking tbe damn lemonade.