I’m going to be telling you more from the book Suicide: Survivors A Guide For Those Left Behind by Adina Wrobleski. She has a LOT of wisdom on this subject. Recovery guilt is when you feel guilty about being happy after the loss of a loved one or when you had “fun” and didn’t think about the loved one for a few minutes to a few hours. This is progress. It seems strange, but it is. Having fun, or “forgetting” is the way your brain gives you the break it needs to recover from this immense pain that just all of a sudden shows up. Several months into the “recovery” you will more than likely experience a setback. This happens and can be normal. When this happens you feel as if you are back at the beginning. This is the indication that you may need a small “break” to take a rest before climbing to the top of the mountain of grief and reach your future. Eventually the sharp pain will turn into a dull ache which will in turn end up being just a heavy sadness. You just may experience SEVERAL setbacks throughout the whole recovery. You never know as everyone is quite different. Grieving people will commonly experience major depression.
Some signs that you should go see your doctor to make sure that everything is okay and get help if it is needed.
- Intensity of your pain is not relieved
- you lose weight
- sleep poorly
- feel desperate and hopeless
“Since 4 out of 100 people get depression, and since it is already in your family, it is wise to watch for it in yourself and others in your family,” states Wrobleski.
Don’t be afraid to speak up if you need to. Never be afraid to seek help if you need to.