The Game of Life
Have you ever sat and thought about life? All the choices you have to make? High school electives? College courses? High school/College job? Career? Family Life? Kids? Cars? A home? It goes on and on and on?
Now think about it. Look at the game of Life game board. See how it winds and turns and twists every which way? As a kid we never really realized how true that game is to real life. We never knew how close to life that would be. Like when you landed on that one darn space that made you pay in because some darn unexpected thing happened. Like a car repair or house repair. Yea. Nothing like a surprise repair to undo all of your hard work on your mental self esteem.
Life has been chaotic. Life is crazy. I finally have excellent insurance to find out what is truly going on inside my body. Come to find out. I probably really didn’t want to know. They found another nodule. This time on the bed of where my right thyroid used to be. They were unable to find any conclusive evidence on it. It was unable to get a good biopsy of it. So for now we are just monitoring.
My blood sugar isn’t pretty. I am prediabetic. So we are taking precautions. GO ME! My chiropractor thinks My sciatic nerve is inflamed hence my increased pain in the right side. Oh and the diagnosis list that is a foot long that my endocrinologist has added to my chart. BOY OH BOY! I now will have to go through an entire day of testing to confirm all of my mental health diagnosis to make sure what is going on so we can go about it all correctly. My primary care doctor tried putting me on Zoloft. We were doing good, until we increased my dose and my anxiety/irritability increased to the point of everyone else noticing. SOOO, my new psychiatrist decreased it for now until I see her again and I go through testing and try something else to see what we can do. I have a feeling there is no medication i can be on that will be a good fit due to a few things. 1. Cause of weight gain, 2. cause of irritability and weight gain 3. counter indications with other medications that I now have to take in order to keep myself from dying.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am so tempted to say stop with all the meds/testing and everything, but it gets to the point of, I kind of need those. If I don’t take those it may cause some serious issues. Especially being the one medication has already helped me to lose 10 pounds. Maybe it’s just the pain and the nervous/anxiety/money problems talking who knows. I’m just tired of struggling all the time. Yet all the anxiety and everything makes me want to go on a shopping spree. I can’t win. No matter what I do. I don’t know how to cope anymore. I guess I need to get myself reorganized again and situated in my routine that keeps getting unsettled from moving, changing schedules, promotions, etc. I need to get myself back on track. I just don’t know how. Maybe this is something to talk to my Psychiatrist about.
Any who, yes, as you read. You read promotion correctly. I technically got two “promotions”. I started working for Prime Therapeutics in December of 2015 as a contractor with Aerotek (so not hired on with the company, but as a temp). I started really liking my job. Finally in the same line of work I had been wanting to be in for a LONG time now. Putting my Pharmacy Technician experience stuff to use, granted in a different aspect of the field, but still. I started in one area, with the goal of becoming a technician and moving to another team. So, by March I had my test scheduled and was studying really hard to get it done and over with. April 27th, 2016 I took my Pharmacy Technician Certification Exam and passed. I had talked to my recruiter, and was told that goal was by August I could transition to the Tech side of things. Only to find out a day or two later than in less than 1 week I would be trained in as a technician. I was shocked, surprised and amazed all at the same time. Shortly after, in the beginning of May, I started training as a technician. I loved my job even more! Still being a contractor. My next hurdle now was to be hired on as a full time employee. In September a round of hiring came around. I was unable to get it only because there were other techs hired on before me that had dibs on the position. I understand. I totally get it! By mid October, there was another round of hiring. I figured, let’s try this again. A week later, I got called into an office. I was nervous thinking I did something wrong. Only to find out that they were going to convert me to a full time employee. They were going to hire me on! My next goal FINALLY accomplished! YES! So for now, my big work goals are accomplished. I only have minor work temporary goals and that is just to keep doing well and doing the best I can. My big goals is to get my money a little more steady, and my health on track and then I can create bigger career goals and focus on more things and more responsibilities. This way my health and money issues will not seep into my work life anymore.
It’s been one heck of a year. It’s been one heck of a life. I’m not sure how I have lasted through half of it, but I have. It’s interesting how I have, but I will continue to survive with those who care for me, love me and support me. Those are the ones who I truly need in my life and are my true friends and family. I could not have done half of what I have done without any of them. They are truly what make me get through each and every day.